Congress has passed a $700 billion bailout of Wall Street to avert a financial crisis in America.  Some people like to look at that number and calculate how much each American would get it we gave that bailout back to the people. 

According to the US Census (www.census.gov), the population of the United States is roughly 305,315,470 people.  A quick calculation would show that if our government was to give that money back to the people, every man, woman, and child would receive $2292.71. This is somedrunkguy.com, however, so we like to calculate things with terms we can relate to: beer, alcohol, and the quantity thereof.

While the entire population of the United States is 305,315,470, we will be semi-responsible and remove anyone under 18 years of age.  The population of the United States, 18 and older, is 227,719,424.  Let's start with fun facts:

Based on the average 12 pack prices in your local grocery store, let's assume an average price of $1 for a 12 ounce bottle of beer:

Population 18 and older: 227,719,424

Total bottles of beer at $1 a bottle: 700,000,000,000

Number of beer bottles per citizen 18 and older: 3073

How much beer is really in 700 billion 12 ounce bottles, one might ask.  For the mathematically challenged, 12 ounces is 0.09375 gallons of beer.

Total gallons of beer: 65,625,000,000

Total gallons per US citizen: 288

Let's face it - this buyout will not please everyone, but it certainly will cost us all our hard earned money in higher taxes.  The SDG solution: Let the government have $350,000,000,000 as one half of the bailout, and give all of us Americans 18 and older the other half in the form of 1536 beers (144 gallons) each.  It may cost us in taxes, but at least we can get drunk and forget about it!